Steph Jagger has been my guidepost as I make my journey to figure things out. She started a book led exploration of sorts called Read Like a Mother. It has changed since it started but the essence has remained. It’s a safe space to explore all of the intricacies of my thoughts. This session just started and we are doing an ever so slow read of Women Who Run With the Wolves. She tasked us to create what calls to us to be created for the topic “Wild Woman” and here I am.
I marinated on my thoughts while swimming a multitude of laps this morning and two pictures came up for me.
First, I thought of the literal interpretation of a Wild Woman. A woman is walking up a rise with the sun at an angle behind her. The light catching her in such a way that her sun-kissed colored hair is glowing. It’s delightfully messy as it falls around her shoulders. She’s wearing a flowing sundress with a small pattern of flowers across it. As she reaches the rise, a dog comes running up from behind her and crosses the top as she does. She gives off an air of carefreeness. Not a worry or care in the world. Simple enjoyment of being a part of the world.
But I thought that was too easy. Like I said, literal. It didn’t sit right. A few more strokes, another flip turn and I dug back in.
Then she appeared. This time it’s me. I have the face of confidence. I no longer worry. I no longer question my worth. Question whether I know what to do. I do know. I don’t worry what people think. I don’t worry if I’m making the right decisions. I know that I’m making the right decisions for the time and the situation that I’m in. I’m not looking for acceptance from the patriarchy. I’m not looking for acceptance from anyone. I’m owning it. Everything. A quiet confidence exudes.
My journey is to get to that version of me that I picture as my Wild Woman. I know I’m already part way there. I see glimpses in the mirror and am awed. I think with theses next steps of my journey, more pieces will click into place.
So I take the next step…